Previous English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the disease.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease progresses.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I process things uniquely, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a set of scans showed nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately quite emotional about it, but it's so strange because I think everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't experience unwell
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the upper arm.
"I remain competent to doing all activities. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and above half within two years of identification, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an moved Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Household Impact
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and began removing the tears off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody stated the priority was being in the moment.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be extremely militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those periods back."
Player Association
Elite sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the air obtainable and producing damage to neural pathways, frequent, vigorous training can initiate the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his brave, persistent style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and began throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial moment of play, establishing a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has already told Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a few other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of care and acceptance that people are available is the crucial thing," he commented.
"The sport is such a great community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a duration with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
